Memorable Summary You Can Teach a Child (9-11 years):
“Be positive, see problems as temporary, and believe you can improve—people love being around those who lift them up.”
Practical, Brutally Honest, Real-Life Examples for a Child:
1. After Failing a Test
- Negative Reaction (Pessimist):
“I’m bad at math. I’ll never be good.” - Positive Reaction (Optimist):
“I made mistakes this time, but next time I’ll practice more and do better.” - Psychology Trick:
Teach her to say: “This is not about me being bad; it’s just this time. I’ll get it next time.”
This is called “Temporary Thinking”—it tricks the brain into seeing failure as a small bump, not the end.
2. Not Being Picked for a Sports Team
- Negative Reaction (Pessimist):
“I’m not good at sports; no one wants me.” - Positive Reaction (Optimist):
“I wasn’t ready this time. I’ll practice more, and next time I’ll get in.” - Psychology Trick:
Encourage her to say: “It’s not ‘forever,’ it’s just ‘for now.’”
3. When Friends Leave Her Out
- Negative Reaction (Pessimist):
“Nobody likes me. I’m always left out.” - Positive Reaction (Optimist):
“Maybe they made a plan quickly, and I missed it. Next time, I’ll invite them first.” - Psychology Trick:
Teach her to think: “This is one time; it doesn’t mean ‘always.’”
4. Struggling to Learn Something New (e.g., Dance, Art, or a New Skill)
- Negative Reaction (Pessimist):
“I’m not talented like others. I can’t do this.” - Positive Reaction (Optimist):
“I’m just starting. Everyone was bad when they started. I’ll get better with practice.” - Psychology Trick:
Say this aloud: “I’m not bad; I’m learning. Every expert was once a beginner.”
(This is called Growth Mindset Thinking—it trains the brain to see effort as more important than talent.)
5. Dealing with Small Embarrassments (e.g., Falling Down, Answering Wrong in Class)
- Negative Reaction (Pessimist):
“Everyone is laughing at me. I’ll never speak in class again.” - Positive Reaction (Optimist):
“Okay, I fell. Everyone falls sometimes. Next time, I’ll laugh with them and carry on.” - Psychology Trick:
Teach her to say: “Will this matter in 1 week? No? Then let it go.”
Mindset for Life Skill (Teach This):
- Pessimists:
“This is my fault, and it will always be this way.” - Optimists:
“This is temporary, and I can do something to make it better.”
Final Trick:
Smile more, even when things go wrong.
Why? Fake smiling tricks the brain into feeling better.
Tell her:
“When you smile during a bad moment, your brain gets confused and thinks things are not so bad.”
That’s called the “Smile Trick” from psychology—it’s simple and works every time!