Memorable Summary to Teach a Child (9-11 years):
“Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. Be with people who respect you, support you, and make you feel good—let go of those who don’t.”
Practical, Brutally Honest, Real-Life Examples for a Child:
1. When a Classmate Keeps Ignoring or Excluding Her
- Old Thinking (Mistake):
“Why doesn’t she like me? Maybe I should try harder to be her friend.” - New Thinking (Life Skill):
“Maybe she’s just part of the 50% who won’t like me. I’ll focus on my real friends who enjoy my company.”
2. Dealing with a Friend Who Always Teases Her
- Old Thinking (Mistake):
“She’s my friend, but she keeps making fun of me. Maybe it’s my fault.” - New Thinking (Boundary Skill):
“A real friend doesn’t make me feel bad. I’ll tell her I don’t like it, and if she keeps doing it, I’ll step away.”
Boundary Script for Kids:
Teach her to say:
“I don’t like it when you say that. Please stop.”
If it happens again:
“I asked you to stop, but you didn’t. I don’t want to play with you right now.”
3. When a Friend Only Talks to Her When They Need Help
- Old Thinking (Mistake):
“Maybe if I help her more, she’ll like me.” - New Thinking (Self-Respect Skill):
“Friends should help each other, not just use each other. If she only talks to me when she needs something, I need better friends.”
4. Dealing with a Bully Who Says Mean Things
- Old Thinking (Mistake):
“Maybe if I stay quiet, he’ll stop.” - New Thinking (Assertive Skill):
“I need to stand up for myself and let him know it’s not okay.”
Assertive Script for Kids:
Teach her to say firmly:
“Stop talking to me like that.”
If it continues, tell an adult:
“I’ve asked him to stop, but he keeps being mean. I need help.”
5. Choosing Better Friends
- Old Thinking (Mistake):
“I should be friends with everyone.” - New Thinking (Smart Choice Skill):
“I’ll be kind to everyone, but I’ll spend most of my time with friends who make me feel good and support me.”
Friendship Filter Trick:
Ask her these 3 questions about friends:
- Do they respect me?
- Do they make me feel good about myself?
- Do they stand by me when I need help?
If the answer is “No” to any of these, it’s okay to let go and find better friends.
Life-Changing Mindset (Teach This):
- You are not for everyone. And everyone is not for you. That’s okay.
- Real friends make you feel stronger, not weaker.
- Walk away from anyone who doesn’t treat you right. You deserve better.
This will teach her self-worth, boundaries, and how to pick healthy relationships for life.