Memorable Summary to Teach a Child (9-11 years):
“People say ‘yes’ when they see a benefit, are already saying yes to small things, or get to choose between two good options—be confident and ask smart.”
Practical, Brutally Honest, Real-Life Examples for a Child:
1. Convincing Parents for a Picnic with Friends
- Old Way (Often Fails):
“Can I go on the picnic?” → Easy ‘No’ for parents. - Smart Way (Benefit + Choice):
“If I go, I’ll learn to plan things with friends and get some exercise too. Would Saturday or Sunday be better?”
2. Asking for a New Storybook
- Old Way (Fails Often):
“Can you buy me this book?” → ‘Not now’ or ‘No’ likely. - Smart Way (Yes Questions + Confidence):
“You like when I read more, right? And you want me to do well in school, right? This book will help me enjoy reading more. Should we get it from the bookstore or order online?”
3. Getting a Friend to Join Her in a Group Project
- Old Way:
“Will you join my project group?” → They might say no. - Smart Way (Choice + Yes Flow):
“You like doing creative work, right? You like working with friends too, right? Would you like to work on the poster or the model part with me?”
4. Getting a Teacher to Let Her Submit Late Homework
- Old Way:
“Can I submit it tomorrow?” → Likely a ‘No’ or scolding. - Smart Way (Benefit + Choice):
“I want to submit my best work, and I need one more day. Would you prefer I submit it before school or after lunch tomorrow?”
5. Convincing Sibling to Share a Toy
- Old Way:
“Can I play with it?” → ‘No’ likely. - Smart Way (Benefit + Yes Setup):
“You like when I play nicely with you, right? You want to play something fun together, right? Should we play with your toy now or after dinner together?”
Key Psychology Tricks (Easy for a Child):
- Benefit Hook:
“How will this help them?” → Tell them. - Yes Flow:
Ask 2-3 easy ‘Yes’ questions before the real ask.
Example: “You like playing with me, right? You like fun games, right?” - Choice Between Two Good Things:
Never Yes or No. Instead:
“Should we do this now or later?”
Final Life Lesson to Tell Her:
“People don’t say ‘yes’ just because you ask—they say ‘yes’ when they see it helps them or feels easy.”